Saturday, 1 August 2026

[archived poems©by yuan: 2024]

2024, 11, 16 [Saturday]

 

Sent from Vancouver Airport

           

          Landing now  

But my heart still beating

Against the cloud, while

My dream lingers on high

Above the Pacific Ocean

 

 

Where’s My Home

 

In Vancouver, I have my

Home in the right place

But with the wrong person

 

At the hotel, I have you

As the right home to me

But in the wrong place

 

In Jingzhou, I have my mother

As my right home in the

Right place, but I feel wrong

 

 

Ultimate Pursuit

 

     If you need spiritual sustenance at

All, you can find it neither from a physical

Object, nor from any fellow human

Nor from nature or artwork

(Not even from Gold or God himself)

     But from your own innermost being

 

 

Home vs Hotel

 

  We are all looking for a home to

Our inner selves, but can find no

Such place anywhere, except in a

Hotel, where your wandering soul

May dwell just for a moment with

The right person on the right spot

 

 

Attachment Detached: for ll

 

I thought you were the home

To my little bird as to my

Large soul, but alas, I find

You are just my final hotel

Along my long way to Dao

 

 

Wandering

 

Walking through night crowds

I felt like a wounded wolf

Lost in a burned prairieland

 

Homeless, I kept wandering

More lonely than darkness

But no less serene than the stars

 

 

The Tree I’ve Been Drawing

 

   Is just so full of life

Neither the bird nor the wind

I am going to add to the land-

Scape can live up to its vitality  

 

 

Nostalgia

 

Time, pause just for a second

So I can catch your shadow

With the camera in my soul

Before you vanish into space

 

 

Night Vision

 

As the tide surges forward

    From the heart of night

A tiny white flower blooms

Against all the dark noises

Rising high along the coast

 

 

New Start

 

As the first small flower

Blooms with the whole

Season of spring, let’s

Forget & forgive all the

Harshness of last winter

 

 

Personal Irony

 

    Even if tone-deaf

Never able to become a

Singer as you wish, you

Can tune your life per se  

Into a full-toned melody

 

 

My Assets

 

I don’t own the sun, but I

Have plenty of sun light

 

I don’t own the sky, but

I enjoy all the free air

 

I don’t own the morning

But I cherish a lot of hope

 

I don’t own the language, but

I am entitled to every word

 

I don’t own autumn, but

I can get a good harvest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


2024, 9, 13 [Friday]

 

Synoptic Cultural Comparisons (3): Self-Imaging

 

1/ Oriental practice

After he was, once again beaten black & blue

By a street guy, the poor Ah-Q managed to

Stand up as if he’d become someone else

Instead of feeling injured or insulted, he

Announced his victory because in his mind

It was but a son who’d humiliated his father

 

2/Occidental principle

When the powerful Sam felt insulted or even

Threatened, he would readily bring a knife to

A fist fight. For him, his honor as well as his

Dignity will remain impeccable like a newly

Recognized cavalier insofar as he wins the

Duel or kills his rival, no matter who is right

 

 

Tunneling as a Fact of Life

 

  1. We all take light for granted

Until we enter into a tunnel

 

  1. We are thrown into darkness

Before we become aware of it

 

  1. The darker inside the tunnel

The brighter the outer world

 

  1. It takes no time to fall into the dark

But long for anyone to see the light

 

  1. Better to turn on the light inside the train

Than to complain about all the darkness

 

  1. Every minute passed in darkness

Is a big step closer towards light

 

 

Money Matter

 

Money is really so hard to make

It comes only bit by bit like one

Suffering constipation, no matter

How much effort one makes, but

When you spend it, you cannot

Hold it even for a second as if

    You are hard hit by diarrhea

 

 

Eudaemonology

 

Well planted in the heart of

Every soul is the seed of

Happiness, which will bloom

Perpetually if, only if you let

The sun shine on it and re-

Member to water it with

Love or positive thought

 

 

Experiment Continued

 

  When I was five, I planted my favorite

Marble in my backyard, hoping it would

Grow into a magic tree bearing all kinds

Of toys.

                        Six decades later

I filled my crystal flask with the brightest

Sunlight from the mid-summer, not that

I intended to brew it into wine and keep

My heart warm for the upcoming winter

But I long to have a different taste of life

 

 

Cage & Nest: for ll

 

Just as your vagina is your heart

Relocated, my penis is my soul

Externalized. To be more exact

 

Your womanhood is as much

An open cage as a hidden nest

For my entire manhood, where-

 

As I keep flying like a demo-

Selle crane, I will always

Return to you like a pet bird

 

 

Whale & Boat

 

  Along the ethereal horizon

A bluish whale swims against

Both sea and sky. No one knows

If it’s enjoying its free cruise or

Driven by hanger. As it looms

From time to time, it looks like

A boat that has lost its power

And direction, wandering around

In the wild, in the way a dying

Whale fallling into myriads of lives

 

 

Maple Leaf

 

Rising up from nowhere

A fallen maple leaf

Pressed hard against my

Face in the wind, as if

To paint my soul with its

Bloody color, covering my

Thought with its texture

Like a shroud. When I

Managed to take it off my

Mask, I found it was

A new prescription for

The upcoming winter

But alas, as I keep

Wandering around, I just

Cannot find the pharmacy

 

 

Two Birds from the Cemetery

 

Their relationship unknown

The two birds pecked deep

In the cemetery at foothill

 

Then they flapped their dark

Wings against the misty dusk

One with a forgotten name in

 

Its pointed mouth, the other

Having a lost soul at its

Tongue tip. When they fly

 

Over me, something dropped

On my head like shit, which

Is surely unsuitable for a nest

 

 

Another Black Xmas

 

Again, there’s no snow falling, so

All streets and back lanes remain

As dark as dirty as before, with

Broken glass, abandoned carts

Coffee cups, name cards, fliers

Plastics here and there. Each

Sight is full of sharp angles; not

A single flake on its way to help

Package our world & make it pure

Soft & peaceful, filling in every

Gap & hole with white justice, not

Even on this holy Christmas night 

 

 

In the Valley

 

Towards the East Sea

The Long River runs

As silently as

The sun always setting

Towards the West Hill

 

Between the sea and the hill

I stand still like Kuafu

Holding my tongue

In case I should disturb

The quite flow of time

 

 

Reservation

 

The winter is so very small

I can hardly squeeze myself in

 

No matter how hard I tried

I still had to give up my shadow

 

Though I hid my soul there

Yearning for a spot in spring

 

 

The Self-Portrait of an Artist

 

I greened         on a spring twig

I danced          to the summer sun

I fell                in an autumn swirl

 

But when there’s a wind starting

To blow, I’ll rise against the winter

Though as an unnoticeable leaf

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


24, 8, 19 [Monday]

 

Time Flows

 

Standing by a river, seeing

How the water moved along

Heraclitus said, No man ever

Steps in the same river twice

While Confucius exclaimed

Time passes by just like this

Flowing away day and night

 

Though both sages were

Keenly aware of the constant

Change in the river, neither

Spotted the unseen islet in it

Where any one may live still in

The moment as if on Sommaroy

Let alone foresaw this modern fact:

    While our world is so full of

    Sundials, hourglasses, clocks

    & watches, not a single second

    Can be found from amongst them

 

 

Circle the Square: for ll

 

My thought of you draws a big circle

Tonight. As I try to put it into

The square of dream, it breaks into

Endless points of attachment

Embracing my inner being within  

A spacious shape, where there is

More day to dawn. [&] The sun is but

Another [Thoreauvian] morning star

 

 

Love in Mathematics: for ll

 

Though we’re always seeking out summation

We can never hope to find a solution (outside

 

Marriage). If, & only if we live a double

Life this way, we’d be two parallel lines

 

That may come indefinitely close to each other

But never meet within the same coordinate

 

 

High Romance in Pythagorean Identity: for ll

 

For any angle of (se)x, the sum

Of the squares of the sin &

Those of the cos is equal to one

 

 

For ll: What Is It That

 

Makes you feel agitated at night

Or lost during the day

Without ever knowing exactly why

 

That keeps your heart split

With your body as with itself

Between obligation and inclination

 

That throws your innermost being

Into the depth of thought

Amidst routine functionalities

 

Or that compels you to live a double

Life: one in the open

The other under the ground

 

What on earth is it? But the sense of

Belonging newly gained, a longing

For a reunion in body as in spirit

 

 

Double Existence: for ll

 

You live

A life of separation

Between heart and body

 

A perfect wife for him

Over the past four decades

But my paramour from now

 

Each time you are

Penetrated, you enjoy it

Only as if with me

 

You hung around him day in

Day out, but always looking forward

To our annual elopement

 

On the opposites of this

World, we’re happy to live

A life doubly enriched  

 

 

The Butterfly & the Flower

 

Last night, a butterfly

Kept flying around

& never came down

To the ground in

My dream, until I woke

To see there’s not

A single flower

Blooming towards it

In the whole valley

 

 

Feminine vs Masculine: a Cross-Cultural Poem

 

In Chinese, as in English, there’s no distinction

Between the feminine and the masculine in

Nouns, except for /man &/woman or their

Pronouns, so we describe a bridge as beautiful

As a woman or as strong as a man.

It’s true

We conventionally treat Nature, a ship or

Our country as a mother-figure, yet there’s

No sexual differentiation in words or syntax

As we all try to seek the true-blue balance

Between yin & yang, beyond our speech acts  

 

 

No True Masterpiece

 

Is ever writ

In words, not

Even in minds

 

But wind-carved

On a cliff, spelt

With blood drops

 

Painted with moon-

Light, or crested

At surging waves

 

Always in space

Though

Rarely in time

 

 

On the Serengeti

 

Every animal, including

Those in a human shape

May respect a lion highly

As the king of the land

 

But you prefer to be a buffalo

Herbal-hearted, or eating

Grass only, trying to avoid

Even a baby lioness

But once you are bullied

You would be ready

To horn up the whole pride

High into the bloody sky

 

 

Big vs Small

 

Much bigger than all earthly eyes

Combined can see, the cosmos

Occupies only a tiny corner in

A single human mind, where

Numerous galaxies can clearly be

Seen like broken dandelions beyond

Its fence (built with time & space)

 

 

Drink Water in Wilderness

 

As I approach the pond

More vigilantly  

Than an antelope

On African savanna

My entire being is

Swallowed up inside out

By a crocodile in ambush

Before I was able to kiss

The water with my mouth

& soul, both dying of thirst   

 

 

Balcony

 

How I wish to have one

Like a peninsular

 

Reaching out

From a confining homeland

 

Always ready for

An elopement towards

 

The open space, where

I can join the stars

 

Splashing down

To the deep blue sea

 


2024, 7, 16 [Tuesday]

 

Soulmate Identifying: for ll

 

Not that my nose is particularly sharp

But there is something  

Blooming fully

From your innermost being

 

The scent is so fleshly fresh, so unique

I, actually only I, can smell it

Even when you hide your presence

In the depth of a human crowd

 

 

 

Lollipop: for ll

 

(Probably deprived of love

For too long?) My life needs

So much sugar

To dilute its bitterness

I’ve been haunted

By the dream of a big lollipop

I could readily suck

Like a homeless orphan

 

Until the other day

I refound you, &

Right away put you

In the mouth of my heart

 

 

 

H. E. A. for ll

 

Never can we live together

As man and woman, let alone get married

In broad daylight, but we can

Join each other in body as in spirit

From the opposite sides of this world

Honeymoon for a week or two every year

Besides, we can wear a couple uniform

Use each other’s cap, cup and key-

Chain, return to the same e.home

From different time zones, make love

In words, caress each other’s initials

Tattooed on our chests during separation

We can even transfuse each other’s blood (since

We both have type B running in our body as

Through our hearts). When we die, we can have

Our ashes blended and buried together under the biggest

Pine tree in Mayuhe, where I fell for you half a century ago

 

 

Far vs Near: for ll

 

You are so far, far away

In Zhuhai, on the other side of this world

 

Yet you are so close, close enough

For me to feel you with each of my synapses

 

 

 

Looking Forward: for ll

 

Not to the ceasefire between the two

Groups (that perpetually regroup them-

Selves into ever smaller groups), but

To the joining together of two individuals

(Like you and me); not to the clearing up

Of the foul weather for the next hour, but

To the smile of my young neighbor’s baby; not to

The self-effacement of cancer, covid or

Corruption, but to the control of fear

Hatred, oppression, injustice; not to

All the man-made wastes getting processed

By Nature in time, but to the smooth bowel

Movements in a private washroom; not

To getting married since we are

Already too old even for sex, but to a

Real-life, real-time intimate interaction

Between our bodies as between our souls

 

 

 

Scientific Imagination

 

As increasingly more people

Begin to talk about

The whole cosmos as a living

 

Creature, they fail to see

The biologic fact that every one

Of us is a holographic version

 

Of it and, given this, to know

Thyself is to not only to know

The universe, but to enjoy

 

The life of a cosmic being

 

 

No Interstellar Immigration

 

Anyone familiar with concepts

Such as dark energy, black holes

& the Great Attractor feels at loss

When they realize how deplorably

Infinitesimal & insignificant

We humans are. Naturally, everyone

Is fascinated by the indefinite

Vastness of the universe but me

 

Knowing myself as a holographic

Version of the cosmos (or the anti-

Cosmos), I found my species to be

The true & blue staple produce

Of Earth, the only liveable planet for

All humans, who may probably perish

Once transported to a foreign star

 

 

New Definition of Homo Sapiens

 

The only living species on this planet

That turn out wastes Nature can never

Process; that is capable of love besides

Fucking but reluctant to extend it beyond

Sex; that always wants more, &

More & more, though they claim

To be rational or reasonable; that enjoys

Fighting & killing one another

With rocks or rockets, though

They belong to the same family; that dreams

Of migrating to another celestial

Body once they ruin Earth completely

That keeps segregating them-

Selves into ever smaller groups or

Subgroups so the discrete group

Can accumulate maximum wealth

& puissance; that could readily smile while

They must act rude & violent

 

 

Last Leaf

 

Still hanging up there alone

You’re the most popular

Reviewer of parading swirls

 

Smaller than a palm, you’re

Actually big enough to hold

The entire season

 

Withered like a weathered wish

You seal, for a new spring, every drop

Of freshness in the twig 

 

 

Deep vs Shallow

 

My eyes are really deep

Deep enough to contain

The deepest space of the cosmos

 

My eyes are also shallow

So shallow they can never hold

Even a single teardrop

 

 

Appointment 

 

S/He is neither my boss, nor my date

My doctor, my teacher, my therapist

Nor anyone I (need to) know (of)

In person or in spirit. S/He is not even

A human being, not to mention

Someone like Gal or Godot, but S/He’s

Never appeared in the right time or

At the right place as scheduled

(Indeed, S/He’s stood me up numerous

Times) while the receptionists keep

Rescheduling me for another time

 

Now, with my years & days numbered

I still don’t know who or what S/He is

And the clearest reply I’ve got from them is:

Just stand by, since you’re not dying yet

 

 

I Write; Therefore, I Am

 

From my experiences, good or bad, I’ve been gathering

Words after words, like bees collecting

Pollens from the flowers on both sides of

The mountain, putting them in order

 

Not to brew them into honey

To sweeten my own mouth or others’

But to preserve my life in

The syntax of immortality

 

 

The Cosmos vs My World

 

Just as our cosmos is, supposedly, where

Light can reach in space, so my world is

Where my voice can travel through time


2024, 6, 17 [Monday]

 

Towards Samadhi   

 

You started as

A focus of feel

 

Then becoming

A line of heed

 

As it grows into a

Circle of whims

 

Breaking into bits

Of imagination

 

Until it’s fulfilled

With clairvoyance    

 

 

Language Is Where We All Live

 

Deeply ingrained at

The heart of our inner-

Most being is a shared

Syntax that keeps gene-

Rating words to construct

The world for our body

As it gramatises our mind

 

 

Soul & Shadow

 

Shaded within my shadow

Are the shreds of my soul

That keep running around

My feel, like leashed dogs  

 

When there is no more light

Illuminating my presence

Its ethereal being hides

Itself deep beneath my feet

 

 

Worth of Life: a Contemplative Poem

 

Everyone wishes, if not tries

To live a worthy life, but

What is its true worth? How

Is it to be measured? While

 

Most calculate it in terms of

Personal success, happiness

Or fulfillment, some are born

Gifted, privileged to see it

 

As the extent to which they

Have changed the world, im-

Proved the human life, but

To all commoners like you/me

 

Our life may be more or less

Worth living if we’ve thought

Said, or done something that

No other fellow humans ever

 

Have on this planet; otherwise

We have only lived like billions

Of zillions of other organic

Shit makers, living or dead

 

 

 

The Art of Life

 

Life is really so short

As it is becoming

Shorter every second

 

Yet it is also long &

Is growing longer than

Art for a whole age  

 

 

Your Attraction: for ll

 

Before you loom above

The inner horizon, I can

Feel the warmth of your

Shine like the rising sun

 

Just as I can perceive

The rose’s scent before

I sniff at it in wildness

Like a wounded tiger

 

 

My Little Piece: for ll

 

Inspired by you

This love line is so

Wonderfully well-

Wrought no word

No sound, not even

My own heart beat

Can actually find

A proper place in

It to rime with my

Longing for you   

 

 

Deep in the Wild Field: for ll

 

Of each human heart is sowed

A tiny seed, which will bloom

Or bear some fruit in due time

 

But this seed shall neither bloom

Nor bear fruit, because it is

Meant to grow into an Yggdrasil

 

 

Poetry Performance: for ll

 

While trying to sing the song

From the heart of my soul

I felt so short of breath I

Almost choked to death on

Words meant to say to you

 

 

Secret Sonnet: for ll

 

Take the best wrought line

From each of your favorite

Poems I have written (and

Published) for you, then

Reassemble them together (as

Isis did the fourteen pieces

Of Orisis’s body) into a new

Sonnet, I will come alive again

From between the words

Even making your pregnant

With our own little Horus

 

 

Photosynthesis: for ll

 

As my inner being keeps

Absorbing your shine

Ever so warm and tender

My entire selfhood will grow

Into a pomegranate, full of

Crystalized sunlight, ready

To fall from the tree in the

Most abundant season

 

 

Change 

 

   The world remains

Almost exactly the same

As yesterday, but Earth (to

Get/her with all landscapes)

Is already light-years away

From last night in the cosmos

 

 

Lonely as a Cloud

 

No matter how I

Attempt to get to

The centre of

The crowd, I

Feel as if flimsily  

Photo-shopped in

An empty corner

Of a faded picture

 


2024, 5, 15 [Wednesday]

 

In Life as in Love We Must: for LL

 

Assist as we

Insist, persist or resist

To subsist

 

 

Exorcism: for LL

 

    From every corner of my life

I have been trying desperately to drive

All your presences to an unknown space

Far beyond the reach of my synapses

So I can live peacefully in my residence

Reading books, listening to music, having

A tea party with my friends, browsing

Online, doing some mindful meditation

Or even writing something that has

Nothing to do with love, but alas, I just

Cannot concentrate on anything, or

Anybody else but the thought of you

 

O for a single moment free of your spell!

 

 

Alternative Sex: for LL

 

Old as I am, I often fail

Even to knock your door

Open, let alone occupy

Your hall of warmth &

Tenderness, but thank

God, your femininity is

Strong enough to have

Made me pregnant with

Twins: documentary

Romance & love poetry

 

 

 

Record Breaking: for ll

 

Since our reencounter            after 42 years of separation

You’ve inspired me to            turn out more love poetry

& ‘fiction’ in a foreign           language than any Chinese

Author in history, yes             even in our mother tongue

 

Now I wonder what else         I am meant to compose

Besides a chamber music       to play in wildness, a

Drama to act out on an           inner stage, or an epitaph

To engrave as a relief             on our joint tombstone

 

 

Emotional Curiosity: for ll

 

Why am I so infatuated with you? This is the

Million dollar question which would keep my eyes

Still open even after I die should I ever fail to find

The answer for myself.

 Perhaps, it is your Mono Lisa

Smile that blooms at me from your innermost being

Your affability that invites me as a kindred spirit

The unique natural scent radiated from your fair skin

That is perceivable to me alone; your voice carrying the

Local accent like my mom’s; your face and shape that

Have restored my lost libido, especially the way you

Wear your years so well that people often mistake

You for my daughter, though I am just a few months

Older than you (or, your high sexual quotient that only

I can tell exactly after our elopement honeymoon in

Zhuhai?)

  But I am never sure, nor do I even have any

Clue about what it is that makes me love most about

You. To know myself better, I will spend my last years

Trying to come up with a truthful finding. (Perhaps, it’s

All because I live an aesthetic rather than an ethical life?)

 

 

 

Storm Snapshot

 

  Face so deeply wrinkled

By the seasonal winds of history

The sea is getting simply too old

To recall what fishes are still left

Swimming in its heart of darkness

 

 

Angling

 

Tasteless, shapeless

My bait is not so

Much for a fish

As for a nexus

Between water &

Land or, rather

Between my mind

& the whole world  

 

 

The Beach Man

 

At another antlike moment

All our footprints may be

Washed away, but the sand

Will persist long after the tide

Retreats to the heart of the ocean

 

 

Four Narrative Conflicts

 

1/ man vs god

 

He created us out of dust to let us

All prostrate before Him, while

We made every kind of god from

The same just to worship him  

 

2/ man vs nature

 

She gives birth to each & every one of

Us, but we grew up only to destroy Her

 

3/ man vs man

 

As if genetically coded with enmity

We must always fight against one

Another with words or swords

Otherwise, we’d all die of hunger

 

4/ man vs himself

 

We are what we are

Yet refuse to be such

 

 

The Noblest Tradition

 

For hundreds of times

I’ve imagined myself

Becoming an African

Elephant

     Ready to

Leave its herd for an

Obscure jungle, where

It could die in extreme

Privacy when it is

Too old or too weak

     To travel along

 

 

Trees vs Weeds

 

For all my meticulous care

And high expectations

The trees in the big front

Yard of my house have

Long perished, whereas

The weeds in the small

Backyard of my heart have

Grown rampant everywhere

 

 

FTW: the Super Competition b/w China & America

 

Can boil down to a single word:

[In terms of etymology,] ‘win’ results

Simply from labor, struggle, or war

[As long as we are all in?], whereas ‘

Involves the complication of all the

Five elements: the fear of [death]

The act of [speech], the sense of

[Time], the use of [money] as well as

The attitude of a [ordinary] mind

 

 

Chinese Learning: Lesson 12

 

Square-shaped, stroke-structured

Every Chinese character presents an

Abstract painting rich in symbolic

Meanings; for example, ‘自由

[Freedom] is an enclosed framework

Where there’s always a unique stroke

Trying to break out of the cell

Whereas ‘牢笼’ [prison house] is

Open-ended in every direction, but

Even if you are as strong as a bull

Or a dragon, you can never hope to

Escape from under a simple radical

 

 

 

The Flower vs the Tree

 

  The flower I relocated from

The island has long withered

But the tree I transplanted

From the heart of my soul

Has grown to be an Yggdrasil

 

 

Mirror, Night, Dream

 

1/ Mirror

As it sucks in all temporary units

Like a white hole, my life be-

Comes an illumination of darkness

 

2/ Night

So long as I keep facing towards

The sky like a sunflower, all my fears

Will vanish from my dream of light

 

3/ Dream

Sends me to a parallel universe

through a limelight, where I can live

A double life between wake and sleep

 

 


2024. 3. 10 [Sunday]

 

Here’s My True ID

 

Like you, (like everyone else)

I am an onion, from a cultivated

Fields adjacent to a long river

Light yellow, (dark or whitish)

With layers of layers of layers

Of masks, thick or thin, covering

An inner face.

When they are all

Peeled off from me, there is no

Heart at the core, except another

Mask that looks like a human heart

 

 

 

Family within Family: for ll

 

   Within your extended family is

Your nuclear one, neither of them

Has to do with me, and vice versa

 

But between your husband and my

Wife is our deep family, registered

Within our innermost space, where

 

We sleep in different beds across

The Pacific, but cherish the same

wish as we make out in our e.home 

 

 

Bird & Wind

 

As the wind blows past

I spot a bird flying by

Which may not be as huge

As Zhuang Zi’s Peng

But no less powerful

 

Like my mind, like my soul

The bird is invisible to the naked

Eyes, though it takes the shape

Of a winged creature and

Shoots high against the sky

 

 

 

Bird vs Wind

 

The bird strives to catch

The wind, but it is so strong

It traps the bird instead

 

 

 

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: for ll

 

Your inner being is so full of sunlight

Every flower that catches sight of you

Begins to bloom against the season

Just as each face that turns towards you

Bursts into a smile when you pass by

 

 

Lingua Franco: for ll

 

            With words gushing out of

My innermost being, by following

The syntax of the superpower’s language

I have built an ethereal monument of

Immortality, a universal museum of

The human heart, where the most

Treasured mainstay is my thought of you

 

 

The Counting of My Remaining Days: for ll

 

Even if from January to December

I have only twelve days to live, even

If from Monday to Sunday I have

Only seven days to function, or even

If from Spring to Winter I have only

Four days to breathe, my heart will

Keep pumping blood to every vessel

To nourish every cell at my synapses

So I can feel you for the last three

Days: yesterday, today, and tomorrow

 

 

Visionary

 

Don’t’ just keep your vision in your eyes

For it may one day fall as teardrops

But hold it tight in your hand so it can

Act as part of your pulse movement

 

 

The Poet & the Reader

 

Just keep sending out your

Inner light, and it will reach

A human soul even when it is

Thousands of light years after

You die. Then they will stop

Complaining about darkness

As you illuminate their hearts

In the depth of a black hole

 

 

Lewd Did I live: Palindrome

 

Able was I ere I saw Elba

It’s better to eat than be eaten

Don’t nod

I did, did I?:

Step on no pets:

Eva, can I see bees in a cave?:

Was it a cat I saw?:

 

 

Transcending

 

As I try to relate to the traditional Chinese

Painting hung above my desk, I find

Neither perspective (allowing me to see

The depth of the scene), nor chiaroscuro

(That can give me a sense of multi-

Dimensions via light vs shadow), except

Lines drawn with a wolf-haired brush pen

& ink made of pine charcoal, between Yin

& Yang, between Sky and Earth, lines Thick

& Thin, between the faded lines of history

Starting from a whim leading to eternality

I wonder if this is how our mind works, the

Tendency to swing between two extremes  

Between Black & White, between the Painting

& Blank, both originating from the same Way

 

 

Midsummer Night

 

With my third eye, I often see

The stars glistening like pearls

Deeply lost in the sea of skies

 

 

Black vs White

 

White is pure, black is tender

To get an enriched color

Neither allows for a stainer  

 

 

East vs West: a Synoptic Cultural Comparison (2)   

1/Philosophy/Ancients
Greek philosophers focused on the relationship
Between man & nature as they walked & debated
While Chinese thinkers were concerned mainly
About how a human being got along with another

2/Language/Inflections
English pays much heed to the formal features of

Verbs/actions, besides its distinction between sex
Cases & numbers of pronouns, while Chinese has
Always remained fixed within its square shape 

3/Painting/Traditions
Western painting depends on a single perspective
As much as chiaroscuro to achieve verisimilitude
While Chinese painting is an artistic expression of
Impressions that never have to imitate the reality

Footnote
Westerners keep sharpening their tools to attain

Happiness (through science, or by using power)
While Chinese try to stay with it like a Daoist

 

 

The Present Interior

 

For now let’s forget all troubles & miseries

In this world of red dust, forsake our family &

Friends alike, forgive each & every other’s debts

 

& wrongdoings as well as our own sins; for now

Let’s not get stuck to our pasts or try squeezing

Into our futures, foreseeable or otherwise

 

Where we may easily become too lost in

Character as in imagination; for now, just

Let it be, including everything & everybody

 

While the little cloud above the horizon drifts

Along, & the tiny fish keeps bubbling on & off

In the creek; for now let’s stop & separate

 

Our selfhoods from our minds, observe how

They are making whims & wishes, & watch

How they become conditioned by concepts &

 

Constructs; for now let’s stay put as the hand-

Written book of history is being torn off

Page by page, until we find our innermost

 

Being in the heart of our soul at a crowded

Corner; & let’s take off our masks, identities

Even consciousnesses as if we were peeling off

 

An onion, though we may find nothing for now

 

 

Highest Freedom: A Flash Personal Essay

 

The highest form of human freedom is the freedom

Of selfhood, which I am trying to gain by removing

Every memory of the feel from my heart & intestines

 

By treating my brain, my head or my mind as only

Part rather than the whole of my selfhood, an organ

Producing consciousness for me instead of a mechanism

 

To control my innermost being. It is this freedom that allows

Me to find how I’ve been constructing a Self-Building

On the foundation of sensory synapses, floor by floor, like

The Babel Tower only to collapse before reaching the Sky


 

2024, 1, 9 [Tuesday]

 

Sound of Fury

 

In this vast

Valley full

Of red dust

Each sound

Is an echo

Of a protest

Or warning

 

 

 


Highest Romance: for LL

             

Rather than a

Long line

Of poetry

Scribbled

Between

Two killing

Breasts of

A woman

Totally naked

This is my

Deep love

Embossed

On your heart


The Most Romantic: for LL

 

All people in love

Yearn for a high

Romance, but few

Know the most

Romantic thing

For a lover to do

Is to give a gift

That no other

Human being

In the whole world

Can really afford

 

 

 


Again, Twilight Love: for LL

 

My wandering innerself

Finally joins you

In flesh as in spirit

 

A fully completed soul

Ready to be shared now

(Between two bodies

Shrunk in both ways)

Right in the heart of feel

   

When it’s difficult

If not really entirely

Impossible, to grab

Our sexuality like

The tail of a beast

Plodding heavily away

 

 


Soulmelting: for LL

 

The moment I inject

All my selfhoods

Into your flesh

My soul dissolves

Into the moisture

Of your love

Like a snowflake

Falling into a hot spring

 


Skylight at Midnight

 

Not really the rain

Tapping it aloud

Like sparrows’ beaks

But all the stars

From the outer space

Splashing down

Into a Bai Juyi’s

Plate for the dancing

Pearls that I am

Trying hard to catch

And embed within

This foreign stanza

 

 


Feel of Sexual Love: for LL

 

Finally, I’ve become

One and the same

With you in body &

In spirit, but how come

 

I cannot hear my

Own heart beats?

What has happened

To my ears? Even

Your laughter is not

Sound, but sweet

Light, while your

Touch in not feel

But a fragrant taste

Just as your smile

Is not look, but a

Tender atmosphere

 

As all my senses

Start to malfunction

I know I’ve lost

My entire selfhood

As deep in character

As in synesthesia  

 

 


Gardening: for LL

 

With my rusty flesh spade

I try digging deep in my

Private garden, where I

Hope to sow the seed of

My proto selfhood right

At your G-spot, where it

Would one day grow into

Another earthly Yggdrasil

 

 


Finnegan’s Wake: for LL

 

It’s in this moment when I

Cannot help letting out

 

A cry in ecstatic agony

From the heart of my soul

 

That I have at last attained

My total loss of body & soul

 

A momentary feel to be

Immortalized only by death

 

 


The Joy of Talking: for LL

 

We could never stop talking

Just couldn’t really get

Enough of it. Or couldn’t

Get enough of each other

 

So, let’s keep talking about

Everything (or nothing)

As if it were love per se

As if it were more soul-

Melting than having sex

 

After all, we’ve joined each

Other completely inside

Out across the Pacific

And the Pandemic like

Two deeply entangled quanta

 


Love vs Marriage: A Contrastive Definition

 

Love:   Talking & sleeping

            With each other

            Passionately

 

& Endlessly

 

Marriage:        Eating together

                        Between daily trivialities

                        Until talking & sleeping

                        Are no longer really enjoyable

 

                        When it becomes chicken ribs that are

                        Tasteless to eat, but a pity

To throw away  

 


Diphthongs Deconstructed

 

Wakie wacky, you dum dum

Stop dillying dallying, &

Don’t wishy washy

Or shilly shally

But chop chop

Let’s leave the hurly burly

All the wishy washy, or

Whim whams of this market

 

And join each other inside out

 

Becoming lovey dovey

Even palsy walsy

To complete our souls with hocus pocus

 

 


Cubic Collages from a Cultural Calendar

 

1.     Seeds

Windy shapes

The butterflies will be attracted once you bloom

 

2.     Growths

Sunny lines

The tallest tree will be the first to have its top blown off

 

3.     Gleanings  

Dreamy colors

Every fallen leaf finds its way back to its root

 

4.     Storages

Snowy atmosphere

All lifeforms keep gathering energy from amidst the dark

  

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