Monday 15 January 2024

yuan's lit endeavors updated - 15 jan'24

 1. between july and december last year, i got only about 40 acceptances, because i didn't write as much poetry as, and thus made far less subs than, before. this is mainly because i devoted much of my time to prose writing. (in 2024, i will have to focus mostly on revising, editing and finalizing my prosework.)

2. on aug. 29th, 2023, i got an email from an la-based small press, informing me about their acceptance of my first long novel titled mabakoola: paradise regained (about 100 k words), which includes the second and third part of my trilogy TOWARDS. this means a lot to me, as i spent only 20 months in the whole process, from the conception of the novel to the final acceptance for publicatoin (in 2025).  

3. on sept 25th, 2023, my 16th solo poetry collection free sonnets was published by a small american press called dark onus press; unfortuanately, the press has stopped operation by now. link:

4. on sept 30th, 2023, the uk-based lincoln review informed me about their nomination of my short story "feng shui" as the "best of the net for 2023" (fiction category). 

5. on october 28th, 2023, i received an email from unconventional courier notifying me that it had nominated my short story "emotional curiosity" for the 2023 pushcart prize (fiction category); about two weeks later, another new york-based journal did the same. this is particuarly encouraging: i didn't begin to write fiction until early 2022 after retirement, but thus far i've got three nominations in this category. 

6. during the frist half of last year, i wrote 20 short stories. between november 19 and 29, right after i returned from my two month long china trip on november 15, i finished drafting another 10 short stories. 

7. between december 5th and 25th last year, i finished drafting another novel, titled the tuner, about 50 k words, based on my own love experiences, which i will self-publish if eventually i fail to find a reasonably 'good' press for it.

fortunatly, 2023 turned out to be the peak of my life: literarilly, i made the greatest breakthrough; econimically, i made most profits; and emotionally, i had my most enjoyable days in my entire life.

one thing worth mentioning: before returning to vancouver, i met a shamanistic practitioner in person, who not only has some super skills but happens to be a distant cousine of mine. 

i feel deeply grateful for allowing me to do and get what i really want to. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Saturday 8 July 2023

Yuan's Lit Endeavors Updated -8 Jul'23

 1/ from january to june 2023, got 55 poetry/fiction acceptances. those that have accepted my work for the first time include LIT, Shenendoah, Cicada & Singapore Unbound ;

2/ in jan, Sound of Poetry, a radio station based in Tacoma near Seattle, had a telephone interview with me at ;

3/ recently, Shennendoah had a telephone interview with me at; 

4/ on may 5, successfully released the 2023 edition of Poetry Pacific at ; for more exposure, we reverted to our old operational model - website publication only;

5/ in may, published the english version of a poetry collection titled My Secret Lover, You by Israeli poet Lali Michaeli at

6/ in june, published the english version of a poetry collection titled Bronze by Yang Jijun, a chinese poet at

7/ between 13 and 28 may, finished drafting 11 flash fictions, among which 'initial contact' and 'cat karma' have been accepted for publication on line;

8/ my 16th poetry collection Yellow Comedy is due out this month via Four Feathers Press; and my 17th Free Sonnets is to be released by Dark Onus Press in september;

9/ from jun 2022 to april 2023, i kept revising my150,000-word-long triology TOWARDs, which i have submitted to publishers without an agent; hope it will find a suitable home;

got covid-19 on feb 21 while i was alone at my basement home, and the symptons lingered for a couple of months before i 'fully' recovered. was afraid i could not make it, for i still have so much to do, esp. so much to write about...

i write; therefore, i am. 

[archived poems by yuan: 2019-2©]

 2019, 12, 26 [Thursday]

Heart-Renditions: Lesson 2 in Chinese Characters

: anger influxes when slavery

                                                                       Rises from above the heart

: worry thickens as autumn

                                                                        Sits high on your heart

: depressed whenever your heart is

                                                                        Shut behind a door

: meaning is defined as                             

                                                                        A sound over the heart

: thought takes place

                                                                        In in the field of heart

: forgetting happens

                                                                        When there’s death on heart

忍:to tolerate is to bear a knife

                                                                       Right above your heart



East Etymology: Lesson One in Chinese Characters


臭:stinking results from just one bit of too much self-conceit

 黨:party in politics means to uphold the principle of darkness 

knowing someone involves paying attention to whatever s/he says

worth is determined by how straight a person stands

 debt must be paid because it’s a human responsibility

 武:military forces are used only to stop war and maintain peace

 吻:kiss is an act of not only the mouth but also the heart              



Collectivism: Another Lesson in Chinese Characters

 猋:three dogs running together means to fly fast

 毳:three pieces of hair put together indicates as much subtlety as sensitivity

 贔:three mounts of money deposited together stands for hard work

 鑫:three kinds of metals stuck together signifies prosperity

 three units of earth piled together represents a mountain towering against the sky

 森:three trees standing together presents a whole forest

 淼:three bodies of water flowing together describes a vast expanse of sea

 焱:three fires burning together refers to an extremely bright flame





                      You do not know why, but you

Just cannot help trying constantly to

Withdraw your self-consciousness, thinned or thickened

From your presence, even before your family &

Friends, before your fellow human beings, before

All artifacts, including every man-built structure

& shrink your entire selfhood into an increasingly smaller

Point until it vanishes into the ethereal


You imagine yourself already becoming such a blank

Dot, drifting invisibly in a parallel world, real or virtual

Now both too crowded for your shameful spiritron




Fact vs Fiction


       The encountering is a sheer fabrication 

Of yours, made wishfully during a summer storm


           Which was real, though the summer is

An imagination, which did offer a warm feeling


Though the warmth is fiction, which seems as real

As the feel, though your loneliness is but an invention  



Loneliness Redefined


       Beginning with l as in the word long or

Love, followed by o as in oh or, rather

Overwhelmed [with

Numerous whims &

Endless wishes, each

Living a luxurious life in a different realm, while

Interacting with

Nothing but

Everything as

Solid as soothing as your self-sufficient

Selfhood.] With this one line embedded between L (as in

      Long love) & double S (as in super stories)


      How can you possibly feel loneliness?



Given the Top Four Most Common English Verbs


To be [or not to be

                                                                        Whatever or whoever you are]

To have [or not to have]

                                                                        Whoever or whatever you may wish]

To do [or not to do]                                       

                                                                        Anything or nothing you would prefer, &]

To say [or not to say]                                    

                                                                        Nothing or anything you may intend to]

We are all rendered equal as we cross

Every borderline, filling in every gap

                                                                        In action as in thought

                                                                        [Or otherwise]



English Composure


Isn’t it a nice day? -- Sure it is!

There will be a storm tomorrow. -- Wont’ there?


The train has probably derailed. -- So what?

The Ship is surely sinking. – Let’s play another song!


The queen passed away last night. -- Oh yes?

Frankenstein has won the election. -- O, come off it!


Our mother earth will explode. -- No great shake.

This is the end of the universe. -- Amen!




Behind the Homeless


                             You are a wild cat

Never in want of a companion in summer or winter


Partying with others is unthinkable, even immoral


You prefer to be alone, a state where you can                                

Stretch your solid selfhood into a colored cloud, or

    Shrink your feline consciousness into a blank dot


        Loneliness is all the luxury you enjoy. &

Here is your personal religion, in which


I often hoped to share your forbidden mobility


But in your shadow I have been transmuted

                          Before I know it


      Into a bohemian artist. On a bus stop bench

At a street corner, between two protruding walls

           You tattoo the landscape with humanity  


You cannot help preaching for freedom, wandering

      In a parallel between your inner and outer worlds




How It Really Came about


You threw a formless conceit into a cauldron of

    Bubbling consciousness, patiently adding

          Hours of days of months to the fire

Until it vaporised & flied high up into

An unseen patch of sky. Before it fell from

Above, you searched for a container of every

Conceivable kind, a plate, a bowl, a cup

Even your own palm. At a shiny moment

             In a little swirl, you caught it  

With a net. That’s not fantasy

None of that. As in this stanza you have contained it



Foreign Frequency


          My ears cannot hear the sound

Neither can yours, not even all the earthly

Ears combined, including those of moths

Bats, owls, elephants and whales                  


Only mechanic or electronic ears

May detest the frequency range, &

So can your inner ears, as long

As you set your mind-frame like

An amplifier.

            Indeed, when you empty all

The noises, white, pink or blue, from your

Inner being, you can readily hear

The choir of summer stars twinkling above

From the most distant corner of the cosmos



2019, 11, 20 [Wednesday]


First Gathering after 42 Years of Separation


Like a wolf dying of thirst

That cannot wait to gulp down the whole stream

You lunged towards her, desperate to know

Everything about her in particular. Alas

She said, my life experience after we

Left the school is as tasteless as plain water


But being a veggie now, I drink water only

You whispered, as tea is a bit too harsh, coffee

Too bitter, while even a small glass of wine

Would make your heart beat unbearably too fast



Being Mindful


First, let your body relax

                                                In the present moment

Then, let your pasts go

                                                With all your memories, &

Finally, let your spirit fly

                                                Out of the cage of your mind



Looking Forward


How I am looking forward to my last breath!

For the dying moment is

To be the very most enjoyable (which I know

From my deadly drowning on the other side

Of this world as a village boy) &

Most rewarding time when I can, indeed, get

All the confirmed answers

I have been trying so hard to find

About life, about the world &

     Above all, about myself



Looking Back to Forward


Despite countless showers or storms

Weathered through, I have never yet

Seen a single ray of rainbow

(As everyone has expected)


Yet fortunately I find myself

Living now in an eternal sunny season

Within the territory of my heart   





           My other self has a stronger presence

On the other side of this planet, firmly set

In a different time zone, where I could flirt freely

With Qi Hong, the girl I might well have

Pursued, should I not decide to concentrate

Upon my teenager ambitions


     But I am sitting still

There among young trees on a hilltop, lost in a mood of

Meditating about how the other half of the world

Is rotating around the darkness of tomorrow, &

How all my past concerns are burning to ashes, one

By one, as in a summer forest fire far beyond the skyline





Perhaps just a bit too long


Watching the last leaf

rubbing against my window

I have forgotten

if I is the tree, or

   the tree am I



The Most Romantic Thing Ever Done


Is that I once kissed the most handsome fir

In a forest: a full array of tall trees

Grasping the earth so firmly

All urging me to stay


As beautiful as the sky, the ocean, the stars

& mountains, yet more reachable, ready

To date, to make love, to live or die with

Especially for me.

    Each opens itself wide

Heart and soul, exposing fully to sunshine &

Storms alike, standing against winds, rain

Birds, insects, snow, viruses besides hostile

Animal hands, where I find myself standing

            At the very tip of a twig


It could die or be fell down, but its seeds

Will take root far beyond. So

Leave me alone, let me stay here before

The wind blows me back into the city crowds




Crows Are Being Born Again


    It is an undeniable fact now:

They have arisen from the bare ground


Like the phoenix flapping its wings out of its

Legendary ashes, where are they going?

Nowhere but high up into a virtual space, a world

That, like history book, is full of black headlines


Big names, & bold details. All transmitted

Into numb numbers. Even the most unidentifiable

Has become a comet shooting above its dark caws.


Taken for an angel winged with the rainbows

Of tomorrow, while all cranes and swans are lost

In their dances to the tune of death






The nursery rhyme jumps from my aging chest

Eager to embrace the changing world with zest


Hello, young trees! Hello, summer’s sunshine!

How are you all doing along this humble line?


I will resume my old childhood dream

I will try this new feature like ice cream


I will return to my long lost native place

On this planet’s other side to find the face


& confess to her as the apple of my eye

Pretending I can restart my life, can’t I?



Before: for Qi Hong


Returning to Mayuhe, where we were forced

To ‘receive re-education from poor peasants’

(During the Cultural Revolution), before asking

Cheehoong to dance among the pine trees we


Planted, before hiking to the valley to pick up

Fresh mushrooms, before holding high our glasses

Of life filled with wine, tea or coffee, before singing

The song we enjoyed singing the most when


We were young & gay, before taking turns

To elaborate on our edited resumes, before

Our grandchildren ask for yeye or nainai to tell

Them new stories about the last revolution  


It’s high time, after 42 years of separation, to say

Farewell to each other, first & foremost, before

We retreat from this party, this stage of world

While we still can sit straight beside one another   



My Tree


Definitely it is a tree. Though I cannot

Touch it with my fingers, I perceive it

Growing, very slowly, against summer

Storms & winter frost until its branches have now

Reached out along my limbs & meridians

Its roots grasping deep & tight

Into my inner soil.

    I carry it like my own child

Like a shadow as it becomes almost overlapping

With my whole being. If it continues to grow

With its leaves, can I return on a rainy day, to

Make a nest for my soul as high up in Yggdrasil?




2019, 8, 26 [Monday]


Why No More Super-Sapiens, Saintly or Satanic  


It was all via Columbus

It was right from the New World

It was simply because of his unintended introduction

That a shepherd later known as Syphilis began to lead an increasingly large flock of innocent lambs, including Franz Shubert, Arthur Schopenhauer, Edouard Manet, Charles Baudelaire, Guy de Maupassant, Friedrich Nietzsche, Fan Goh, Mozart, Beethoven, Gustave Flaubert, Eugène Henri Paul Gauguin, A Bing; other suspects including Oscar Wilde, Emperor Tongzhi, the Lincoln couple, Hitler, Lenin, Darwin, Edgar Allen Poe, Starlin, Einstein, Hugo, Napolean, Albrecht Dürer, Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Robert Alexander Schumann, Jean Nicolas Arthur Rimbaud, Alphonse Daudet, Francisco José de Goya y Lucientes, Christian Johann Heinrich Heine, as well as Dr. John Hunter himself, to march from the ditches of obscurity to the grand hall of fame

Until even you & I wish to join them to become a super master in our own right, but


Alas, we have now to stop dreaming about becoming super-sapiens, wicked or wrecked, as a side-result of the invention of penicillin?!    





              Keep driving, drive the Naples disease

To Frenchmen, the French disease

To Italians, the Spanish disease

To the English, the Polish disease

To Russians, the German disease

To the Polish, the Christina disease

To the Turkish and Arabs, the Portuguese

Disease to Indians, the Chinese disease

To the Japanese, the Cantonese disease

To Pekingese, all along the trails trodden by

The great Pox, the Great Imitator, the Great socery

Button scurvy, sibbens, frenga, dichuchwa

Durer’s ‘synhilistic man’, keats’s ‘femme fatale’…


Until a doctor finally caught it in a little poem, where

An innocent shepherd called Syphilis turned out

          The greatest hunter being hunted, or


Until we have no more super sapiens, saintly or satanic

Whose spirits are still drifting around

                   Like a spectre over old Europe  





The cosmos is expanding

Black holes sucking

Old stars sparkling

New stars being born

Manmade satellites moving around the earth

Earth rotating & revolving

Clouds colliding

E.signals shooting  


The swishing of traffic on Granville Street

Sawing at the house construction site nearby



Talking to a fellow human  


Tick-tacking of the clock

Buzzing of the fridge

Computer fanning while in the present moment


My heart is beating, as silence presents itself as

A vast stage, where noises enter or exit one after another

As if to drive all the ears out of my protobeing



HeLa’s Cell


Originating from Eve

This line is continuing to stretch

                                                   Longer,& longer

Multiplying every mitochondrion into

         More & more cells

Each an independent life, as

It reaches deeper & deeper in our body

                                                         & heart

To pass on the story about her love   



While Walking, Helen Observes That


not a single tree begins to branch out

until after it rises a certain height

above the ground. Perhaps it


needs to grow thick, tall or strong

enough to stand against storms

to enjoy the sunshine, or to greet

people like you & me


no matter what, all the branches

combined remain exactly thick

as the trunk itself


do you mean there’s more than one law

about all green growths?



Pine Cones


To spare myself the nuisance of mowing, &

To give my lawn a unique look, I have covered


My whole front yard with pine cones collected

From every corner & shade in our

Greater neighbourhood.

                    On a rainy day, Helen

Observes each has closed itself tightly as if

To protect its virginity, or hide

Its shyness, but on a sunny day each

Re-opens itself wide as a wild blooming flower


Sensitive as they are, they are always ready to recall

Their evergreenness, while trying to outlive the season

During the storm, retaining their living dignity

Even when deadly so low on the ground



Giraffe vs Mule


            So highly arrogant is

The giraffe as it outstands all humans

Even the tallest carnivorous animal


Be that as it may, it is no taller than a mule

              When it bends down

To eagerly drink water from the stream

               Like a naked mole rat



On the Scale


Put any alphabetic letter

                                                    Even in a lower case

At this end, & see if


             All the great books (you have?)

                 Ever written & published will go

                                                   High up or deep down

                                                           At the other?




              After returning to dust

I plan to transform my proto-

Consciousness into a golem

Not in man’s image any more


But with a nanochip at heart


It needs no companion

To connect with the universe

Except via the flow of spiritual energy

               As language in stead



Beat Or Join


I can’t beat death, so I will

                                                   Join it & become part of

The unbeatable; I can’t join

                                                   Life either, but I’ve beat it

Though not with my fists

                                                   But with my spirits. Yes


No body can win death, but

                                                   Everyone can join the winner



Life Is, for Me


A play, where my role is an extra with few lines

      Where I can never help uttering bloopers


A song, which my voice is to sing aloud

        Though I was born a tone deaf


A dream, where my consciousness suffers

    Every single moment from insomnia 




Light vs Dark


      All until the sun sets


Where the dark

To engulf

The whole world

Keeps flooding in

With dreams

Of light, dreams


All about daybreak

2019,7,22 [Monday]




When I was a dream child, I dreamed of all that was dreamable, including a remarkable ancestor in particular, whom I could brag about to my playmates. However, as I grew older, I learned that my grandfather had left us nothing but an unknown family name, while my father was no more outstanding than any other in the street. So, I began to dream about attaining enough fame, wealth and/or power to become someone in my own right.


Alas, despite a thousand weeks of psychological and physiological hardships in the past, I have come only to prove myself as ordinary as my father and grandfather, whom I have been striving so hard to emulate and, to my greater dismay, that my sons are even lesser.


Now I still dream from time to time. In the most memorable one, I come to good terms with my mediocrity. After all, being no body is a standard form of human being, perhaps no less than a form of nirvana.




After Fortune  


All of us were born with an equal and fixed amount of fortune: If you are fortunate with one thing, you will be not with another; if you are fortunate now, you will not be then; and if you are fortunate in one big matter, you will not be in a dozen or even hundred small matters, or the other way around, with only a few exceptions. As it may come with or without our knowing it in any, even a formless form, often do we fail to feel fortune. Naturally, we constantly cannot help complaining about, or spitting curses on our lack of luck. However, if we just change our own outlook, we are bound to discover that we have been fortunate enough all the time not only to have been still alive, but also to be able to find happiness.


It is true that for every infinitesimal bit of happiness we may have to go through an unproportionately big mass of unhappiness; however, the ability to feel happy itself is the greatest fortune that we are all born with.



Cage & Bird

            I am a cage, in search of a bird. -- Kafka


Wherever my mind flies, it’s still

Confined tightly

To this world, this very cage of

      Sensory & imaginative cells


In other words, I is the cage, while the whole

Universe am a bird



Mega-Romance: the Longest & Shortest Human Story


The couple became one

                    Then two, &

  One again.



Winter Vision (2): To the Tune of Tangent


As myriad swans duelled deadly

Up in heaven, their feathers fell


Among human whims & wishes

Covering the whole world with

All the whites & silences of


The season, where a little crow

Pops up to witness the landscape

Becoming so united in sight &


Sound, so seemingly peaceful as for the war  

To continue in whiter earthly wildness



Melencolia: Albrecht Durer’s Secret to Immortality


    Engraved deep on his inner slate

Is not melancholy, but an anagrammed


Limen/door leading right

To the (heart of) caelo/heaven



Back Then: Seven Innocent Sins


How I wished to eat meat or seafood once a month! Now I have enough cash to buy it every day, but I cannot eat what I want because of so many damned health restrictions!


How I used to need just a few more hours for a dreamful sleep at night! Now I have more than plenty of time for the bed, but no more dreams except insomnia!


How I would fantasize about putting my constantly hardend young penis in a vaginal! Now it’s way too soft for the most charming female though easily reachable!


How I desired to be known locally, nationally & internationally! Now I have gained some reputation across dozens of countries, but which turns out meaningless to my selfhood!


How I longed for money or wealth! Now I have finally accumulated millions of dollars, but I find that it can give me no real peace or happiness, except more worries!


How I envied those having power to play with! Now I have experimented with both political & apolitical power only to feel myself even weaker inside than most!


How I dreamed of living longer than a godlin, but now with so many bodily problems getting from bad to worse, I often hope to die while still in decent human shape!



Greatest Regrets


Kouzhun’s six renowned regrets in Chinese history:

That I have pursued my selfish goals while serving as a public officer

That I was not thrifty enough while at the peak of my financial prime

That I did not learn well while still young

That I failed to take the lesson after going through the crisis

That I ranted and raved too much while drunk

That I paid little attention to my health before losing much of it




My little-known private ones after immigration to the West:

That I wasted 5,000 hours of my youth during my schooling years

That I failed to develop and explore my initial interest  

That I fell in love with, and then married the wrong woman

That I decided to choose the left one trail at the crossroad

That I gave up on my dream

That I paid little attention to my innerself then



The Art of Meditation



Keep every sensory cell of yours

As widely open as the sky

To receive every single

            Perceivable signal in the universe, &

Observe closely, more closely

How your stream of consciousness flows

Through fields



Ridges & …


Or, simply hunt every whim

Popping up, looming up

Above the horizon of

Your bubbling consciousness



Counting Down


Ten great bottles sitting on the wall – tenth amendment

Ninth circuit: Nine tailors make a man – ninth circuit

Eight ways to Sunday – eighth wonder

Seven day wonder – seventh heaven

Six of one and half a dozen of the other – sixth under feet

Five o’clock shadow – fifth column

Four more years in office – fourth estate

Three cheers – third degree

Two wrongs don’t make a right – second nature

One good turn deserves another – first rate


Happy new year! Happy new life!



First rate. Second nature. Third degree. Fourth estate. Fifth column. Sixth feet under. Seventh heaven. Eighth wonder. Ninth circuit. /To the nines. Tenth amendment. /Hang ten.

One person’s trash is another person’s treasure

Two’s company; three’s crowd. /2 heads are better than one.

Three hots and a cot.

Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. /

: Five golden rings. /

Seven deadly sins. /

Nine times from ten. /

Ten out of ten. /





Of all animals, I used to wonder      

Wondering if fishes really have

As they say, the shortest memory of all:

              Only seven seconds


Or, their pasts, if any, are supposedly

No longer than the present moment


That is, they have virtually no pasts, nor do they

Ever care about their futures. They just keep

Swimming, blowing bubbles, chasing

Their own shadows into ever deeper ends

As if in a wide flow of consciousness


Often would I feel envious of fishes that are

So mindful about their each passing moment


Now I seem to feel like one



Spiritual Relativity


I am a speck of dust, just as it is

To the Himalaya Mountain, which is


Just as it is to the earth, which is just

As infinitesimal as it is to the Milk Way


Which is, in turn, just as tiny as it is

To the whole universe, which is


Again, just as tiny as it is to the imagination

Where even the indefiniteness itself is


No bigger

Than a tiny concept



The Stanza Suggested


The stanza suggested standing straight

So I did, looking high up

(With an inner Hubble Space Telescope)

At the smallest dark spot, where


                   I find you see

Another thousand Milk Ways glistening

In the dim corner of this vast

Universe, parallel to your imagination


As the earth flies with the cosmic winds

               Like a speck of dust

Breathe light

The same cosmos is evolving inside out



Grammar vs Government: S/He


         At the very sight, they

Fell in love with them, but shortly


They became unhappy with them

Though their only soul-mate. They


Charged them for lying to them

All the time &, in no time, put


Them into prison after long torture

Without further due, they resolutely


Remove them from their mind

At the very cost of their heart



Zoological Note


Though a lousiest swimmer, the cat

Loves to eat small fishes the most, which


In turn, find earthworms most delicious

Though they can never come ashore


Let along living deep in soil. Similarly

God tied a meaty bone right on my nose


Which will lead me to keep running

All the way to my death, but never


Allow me to have a single bite of

It even in my American dream