2021, 12, 15 [Wednesday]
To Gather: for LL
Separated by the Pacific for almost half a
century &
For God knows how much longer by the Pandemic
We have no way to join each other in body as in
Soul, but today, you say you would rather I
become
Your eyes if you had a choice at all (& if
ever I
Could shrink into a tangible part of you). So
you
Can see what I see much farther beyond the
horizon
While we can live within the same solid human
shape
Breathing, eating, sleeping, dreaming &
feeling
Together. Even death shall no longer part us as
Our mixed ashes are to return to the soil of Mayuhe
Where I fell in love with you among young pine trees
Where you’ll be able to watch the rainbow hung above
Our spirits rising like glows after all storms
are gone
Our Species: A Bio-Note of Homo Sapiens
So, we distinguished ourselves as
Bipedalists eating cooked foods
So, we’ve become frenzy
Makers of all types of waste
So, we will immigrate to
A Mars after ruining Earth
So, we are a unique species
The only storied creatures
(So, in a sense, our inner
Sense has no innocence)
A Triword Poem: for Li Lan & All Other
Separated Lovers
to gether togather
All That I’ve Loved Most Dearly: for LL
When I die at another antlike moment like this
No human crowds would gather to mourn my loss
Nor would anybody really notice my departure
Much less shed tears, even if because of the wind
Yet I am sure trees will shake off their
leaves; horses
Will stampede, raindrops will taste somewhat
salty
Hills & mountains will all murmur in a muted
voice
Above all, Zhuhai will weep under sagging
clouds
For it well knows there will be no more human
soul
On this planet trying to connect with the city
as far
As from beyond the Pacific, so closely &
constantly
With its myriad spirited fingers caressing every
Synapse of the neighborhood, the very building
Where you dwell, while poetry cannot help
feeling
Empty as if its heart were hollowed by my
absence
Deep in Doldrums
As snow begins to
Dissolve, the days of
Winter are numbered
Don’t you feel agitations of spring
Deep underneath your foot prints?
Core of Chinese Philosophy: A Fourword Poem:
From
Dao
To
Infinities
In the Depth of Mountains: for LL
From the wellspring of my heart, &
Yours as well, our love may never run deep
But it will keep flowing long
Yes, like a stream originated as afar as in
Eden
Through bushes & pebbles
Between day and night
As
clear as pure
Despite all the delays & detours in Earth
It will keep flowing
As
if to join the sea
After all the bubbles evaporate
Into
the blue
Love Covenant Newly Reached: for LL
With
the whole pacific in between us
& on the other side of the day, we made
(At 8:57 on the morning of November 17)
Two solemn promises to each other:
One is to maintain our soulmateship
Against all human & nonhuman obstructions
Until our last breath;
The
other to have
Our ashes blended together upon returning
To dust just to make sure we will continue to
Live & love happily ever after
Even in our next lives to come
Consignment: for LL
As you, me & several other old schoolmates
Prepared to check in for the (final?) flight
You found yourself lagging behind us
While waiting to pass through the glossy
Security gate. As if to catch you red-handed
My mom popped up & came to you, putting
A jade charm around your left wrist instead
Of your neck as expected. Deeply agitated
You got up right away from between sleep &
Wake, noting it was 7:10 on the morning
Of November 27, Beijing time. You eagerly
Asked me how to interpret this dream. Well
My mom meant to recommend the rest of
My life, (emotional & spiritual,) to you; hearing
This, you began to cry behind my iPad screen
Is this too much of a responsibility for you?
Many vs Few
Close by or far away
Obscure
or popular
Virtual or natural
I have so many places yet
To go, to visit, to experience
(With even more others equally
Eager to join in or reluctant
To drop out)
Whereas
there
Are so fewer & far fewer
Places where I could return
To, much less with someone
From You to Me: for LL
From you to me
The echo of love is so weak
Thin yet persistent
& as clear as pure
Like a music note fallen from the blue
Like a spring wind blowing from Gaxyland
Circling around the trunk of Yggdrasil
Classic Cartharsis
Some tears are shed over joy
Others because of dryness in the eyes
Still others due to irritating winds
While they all serve to moisture our eyes
For a clearer vision
Only those cast
In sadness can really soothe the heart
Not because they contain prolactin, but
Because they ooze from a wounded soul
The Secret of Sound
Music is the only artifact
That can penetrate all the darkness
Of last night to warm a human heart
Like sunlight
While
its anticipatable
Rhythms resonate with our pulse
Its looming melody reaches into
The depth of our soul, massaging our
Entire innerbeing with all its tenderness
Defining Daytime
Day time is where we
Can
find
All the blanks in life
With our naked eyes
When we just cannot
Help filling them up
One by one
With our waked mind
Blue in the Kitchen
Birds love to eat red
Insects prefer yellow
While we sapiens like
All colors
Except blue
Perhaps, which we reserve
For our throats to sing
Rather than for our tongue
To taste sugar
2021, 11, 14 [Sunday]
Hair-Loom: for
LL
Long
have you wanted to cut your hair short
For easier care
as well as for a better fit with
Your age, but
upon my request, you are retaining
It not so much to
hold back the tail of youth
As to fulfill my
teenage wish to comb a beautiful
Girl’s long hair
with all the tenderness of
Of my love.
Yes,
I would love to play with it as a
Loom, with which
to weave all my past thoughts of
You into the
fabric of poetry, braid it into a pair of
Pigtails to
tightly tie our days together, or simply
To make it into
a wig so I can wear it forever
Not to hide the
ugliness of my bald head, but to go
To the court to
judge any work of art about love
The Island: for
LL
Before
erupting at the moment I saw you again
After we lost
each other for half a century, my love
For you had been
an undersea volcano, which has
Ever since been
building itself up, layer by layer
Until it breaks
the surface and looms as a stark is-
Land in the
heart of the pacific.
Like coral, barrier
Or continental islands,
this mass of land is
Also surrounded
by waters, but unlike them, it is
Formed at the
depth of Mariana Trench in my heart
Where still love
has always been running deep
Latest
Lovelines: for LL
Stars make us feel
like humble shadows on earth, where-
As love gives us
a solid sunny sense of self-significance
We are surely
created equal, & thus fated to
Be so, but only
so in love as well as in death
Only in love can
we perhaps find a
Little meaning
out of our existence
Sunlight
protects our bodies against winter cold
Love allows our
hearts to stay in spring forever
Love is the only
force that can bring us Beauty
Good and Truth
together right at the same time
When you find no
worth in life
Go love; and love
by all means
Love is the only
thing that can keep our
Selves truly
young, happy and beautiful
Love will afford
us a renewed life as
Long as it’s
deeply rooted in the heart
Tree & Earth
On
a huge and decayed cypress stump
Is growing hard a
tiny sapling, much like
A baby sitting
on a giant’s shoulder
Who knows it
will one day become
Outstanding in
the whole big forest
Though it may be
thunderstruck again
Yes, it will
keep growing, always
Upright, its
hands holding up the sky high
Its
roots grasping deep into the earth
Either
Zero or one
Either yes or no
Either yin or
yang
Either black or
white
Either man or
woman
Either you catch
the floater drifting or
Close your eyes;
either you come to my heart
Or I go to your
home
In Time
In time
You
will forget me completely
In time
The
little sprout will tower up in the jungle
In time
The
pain at present will become a pearl in memory
In time
The
human mind will evolve into a transplantable bough
In time
The
last drop of water on earth will evaporate into the starlight
In time
The
whole cosmos will be replaced by another higher & longer life form
Day Breaking:
for LL
Each morning I
see your smiling face while
Video-chatting
with you from the other side
Of the world, I can
smell a beautiful flower bloom
Fully from the
depth of your innermost being
And each time I
hear your muted chuckles
I feel a breeze
blowing though the copse
In the backyard
of my heart as their twigs begin
Trembling
against another rising sun
Anti-Theodicy, Or
Paradise Never Lost
In a parallel
garden of Eden created
By an even
higher life, there was also
A young couple
of two opposite sexes
Where the eve
barbecued the Serpent
And enjoyed its
flesh with the adam
While they
managed to sell the Apple
To God, thus
beginning to live
Happily ever
after by choosing
To immigrate to an
other earth
As Far As Near:
for LL
You are as far
as beyond the whole pacific
There’s
no doubt about it
But when my
thought cannot reach far enough
To grasp you in
my hands
From Zhuhai
You come as near as within
The heart of my
heart, where my selfhood
Cannot break off
from you
Even for a single moment
Are You Aware: for
LL
There in Zhuhai,
each rain droplet falling
Upon you is actually
a dew from my dream
About you
Here in Vancouver, each
Snowflake is a
letter signed with your name
To melt into the
palm of my hand as I try to
Catch you like a
floater
On This Side of
the Mind
Our
feel has no solid shape, but like water
It keeps flowing
around if not contained
Within a bottle
or a pipe. Perhaps more like air
Which can facilitate
or make room for
An explosion,
occupying every space
Left around the
heart, with myriad synapses
Reaching out to
receive signals from every-
Where, or
nowhere; yes, it’s hollow inside
As if ready to
store and process
Whatever comes on this dark side of the mind
Smartphoning
While
smartphones are competing fiercely
To outsmart one
another, we are trying to
Outdumb ourselves
by becoming enslaved
Attraction by
distraction
Addicted to or
controlled by
Algorithm for
fragmentisation
Until we get
lost on our way to dataism
Except some who are
rushed ashore
Only to die like doomed fishes
Emotional
Control: for LL
All day long, I
have to keep my mouth short tightly
Like a gate on
the ranch, just in case my thoughts
Of you would
rush out in a stampede, or like a dam
In case my
longing for you would overflow & flood
The whole
valley; in case my heart’s song would
Roll out of my
tongue. Yes, I keep my inner being
Locked; the key lost
between your muted chuckles
My First &
Last Love: for LL
You may well
have heard the classic Chinese
Romance about
Liang Shanbo & Zhu Yingtai
Who were not able
to marry each other alive until
They transformed
into two butterflies upon death
Or you have
probably heard the famous music
At least known
of it as the best love solo. Well
I do not really
intend to recall, retell or re-enact
The way they
overcame all the obstructions &
Fulfilled their
love eventually as mating butterflies
But my innermost
being has become integrated with
That of Qi Hong
as we live together happily
Within or
without matrimony, which is but
An open cage,
made of various human constructs
From which one
can actually fly out in freedom
The Powerful
Soft
So soft is water
that it can
Wear through a
stubborn stone
Even cut rock or
steel like laser
If condensed and
shot out
In a fast enough
speed
So soft is the
human tongue
That it can move
the most
Hardened human
heart & win
The hardest
battle between
A man and a
woman
Dusk Walk: for
LL
Taking a walk
around the neighborhood at sunset
Leaves rustling
as if crows have just flapped by
In the twilight
sky, the moon looms-
What if such
loomings vanish into an unknown space
As clouds
exchange their feels in a hurry?
Seeing a
passer-by coming my way, I derailed my body & thought alike
What if the planet
really comes to a pause during the Pandemic?
What if social
distancing becomes the order of the day for ever?
What if the
season, in other words, lasts between rain and snow?
Seeing two
teenagers approaching, I jumped aside and hip-hopped
On the curb edge
like a lousy dancer as they ran along
What if the
doors of my homeland remain close until I am too
Old or too weak
to move to make out with my first & last love?
What if my
family cannot afford to immigrate to Mars from this burning
Or frozen planet?
What if another huge meteorite hits earth hard enough?
Seeing a
dog-walker come up, I quicken my steps and turn
To an empty
sidewalk, smelling marijuana like dog’s fart
What if what I
know is neither true nor false if
Thought against
reality?
Syllogism of Chan
Wisdom: Soul Mating for Qi Hong
When I was a country
lad in Mayuhe
看山是山（I
saw the mountain as it looked &）
You as the female
beauty in my eyes
Well on my
journey towards Taoist Dao
看山不是山（I
found the mountain was not the
Mountain) as I recalled
it in different shapes
And you as one
of the prettier girls ever seen
Now almost at my
final destination
看山还是山(I have come to see the mountain
As is), just
like you, the most beautiful part of me
My first &
last love, my true soulmate
Rambling: for My
First & Last Love LL
How I sometimes
wonder
Whether it is
because you wear
Your years so
well or because the years
Wear you so well
that I fell in mad love with
You after as
long as 42 years of separation without
Knowing each
other’s whereabouts, again at first sight
With the whole
Pacific Ocean between our shortening arms
Opportunity Cost
of Sitting Online
The woman you
fell madly in love with as a teenager & lost
For nearly half
a century but have just found at a gathering
The birds
singing loudly in the heart of the Pacific Spirit
Forest. The
fruit tree that needs pruning in your backyard
The people you
have been working with in Market Choices
As well as the
truck load that should be delivered. Hey, you
Can learn to
cook an enjoyable meal for your working son
& wife. Hey,
let’s have a zoom meeting to discuss how to
Start the next
project once the lockdown is lifted. Someone
Is waiting for
you down the road. Do you feel like going to
The washroom?
Hey, Li Lan is preparing a little gift, a token
Of love for you
in her drawing room on this world’s other side
Marriage: a
Comparative Definition
In the West:
It is like a
fortress besieged; those who are outside
Want to get in,
and those who are inside want to get out
In the East:
It is like a
chicken rib, unappetizing and yet
Not bad enough
to be discarded as sheer waste
Though it’s
actually an open bottle, where bees
Get bruises one
after another as they charge toward
Light, but flies
can thrive as they settle in darkness
Or a cage with
the little gate always open
But only for the
untamed bird
Bipedalism
It is bipedalism
that has made us a unique, superior
& beautiful
species, for it encourages us
To remain
upright
Against not only
storm
But also slavery
To hold up both
our heads and heavens high
& stand firm
with our feet deeply rooted in earth
God & Angel
Just as
parenting offers us the best stage to play God, or
In Cusk’s words,
something ‘closest most people get to
An opportunity
for tyranny’
Falling in love
gives us the only chance to
Play angel, when
we not only enjoy a solid sense of
Self-significance,
but embody what is good, true & beautiful
2021, 10, 14
[Thursday]
The Lawn Looks
Lush: for ll
The lawn looks
lush & fresh after last
Night’s rain as
he imagines her going to bed
Across the
Pacific. He browses avidly online
Mostly in his
mother tongue, imagining her sleeping
Against another
hot & humid night in Zhuhai. He reads
Poems sent to
him, imagines how she would touches his big
Forehead like a
wanton when they meet. He does stretching
Exercise in
front of his tall window, imagining her hair falling
Like autumn
leaves in his neighborhood. He eats wudong noodles
For lunch,
imagining the hometown dishes she will cook for him alone
He goes to pee
after taking his nap, imagines how she may rise to greet
The morning
glows, imagining him getting lost in his imaginations about her
Whale-Drawing;
for ll
He
sent her a photo of a whale splashing back
Into the waves
of the Pacific, asking her to draw
A picture to use
as his wechat head image. &
For a long time
she had no idea about how
A whale’s call
could reach as far as a thousand
Miles, even
beyond a whole continent, but
Only to be heard
& understood by a fellow
Whale at 52
hertz, much less about how its tail
Looks like ‘Y’,
the letter his name begins with, &
The title of the
best poem
He
has ever written
Until he tells
her how he has been a human-whale
Swimming lonely
against the currents of life, &
How she’d better
portray him as Mobi Dick’s relative
Returning to the
wild of the sea, with her pencils, in
Her eyes & heart,
& how to avoid copyright issues
Your Heart Is My
Home: for ll
With neither a
map
Nor a torchlight
How can I get
home
After losing my
way
In such a
starless night?
Ah, I am really dying
of cold, thirst & hunger
Would you go out
of your way to pick me up?
Memories &
Imaginations
If you keep recollecting
your pasts, you
Would have not a
single present moment
Left for future recall
Just as you
would miss all your
Possible futures
if you live only in
Imaginations
about them
For ll: Setting
off Once Again
How come I seldom
dream, you once complain
But before
returning to Songzi, where we grew
Up together, you
did have one, & one in which
You run after me
to catch a last bus at twilight
You ask me to
interpret this dream, hopefully
Like a fortune
teller or Freudian psychologist
& all I have
to say is it is an auspicious one
For any fast
moving vehicle in a dream means
A solid progress
in life. Given the way I led you
Closely hand in
hand, we’re meant not only to join
Truth in a Platonic
relationship, but as a true
Couple eager to
get onto the bus to happiness
Shadowing: an
Episodic Sonnet for ll
After
celebrating your father’s birthday, you
Went out of your
way to see my mother in
Jinzhou as my
shadow wife, rather than in
Any other
dubious capacity. Though you
Stayed there for
15 minutes only, you left a
Handsome red
envelope containing all the
Filialness of a
Confucian son on my behalf
Indeed, I may
not survive the Pandemic, nor
Might she hold
long enough for me to cross
The Pacific
again, but your ad hoc visit gave
Her the best
comfort from a daughter-in-law
Yes, she felt
sorry she did not take a photo with
You, but I assured
her to commemorate the
Meeting in a
foreign language as she wished
Lover’s Stone:
for ll
No, no, no, you
should not have had a thief’s
Conscience when
you went to see my mother
On my behalf,
for a heart-stealer is no thief
In the first
place
As for
the gift of a big stamp
Jade, it was
given not to you alone, but to both
Of us, which you
can cut into two, one to
Carve into an
artist’s seal for you, the other
A poet’s
signature for me. More important
From the same
piece of jade, they can produce
Gold-like
artworks, if used together
Like a
philosopher’s stone
Towards Reunion:
a Periodic Sentence for ll
At a
fairyfly-like moment
On a bushy corner
of nature
Preferably under
a tall pine tree
In Mayuehe, our
mecca or the hilly village
Adjacent closely
to the bank of the Yangtze River
With myriad
tongues from my hungry innermost being
Each eager to
reach deep into your heart, where my soul’s
Fingers could
caress every single synapse of your feminine feel
Between the
warmth & tenderness of love, across the Pacific & the Pandemic
I’ll join you
Promissory Note:
for ll
Time may be the
greatest makeup artist
For all of us,
but my love will remain
Your very best
personal beautician
A Small Request:
for ll
Hold your tongue
(for a French Kiss)
Close your eyes (for a long overdue thorough caress)
Keep your
fingers warm & tender (for longer
foreplays)
Reserve your innermost
energy (for higher orgasms)
Maintain all
your sexuality &
Save every urge
you may have
Until after crossing
the wildest width of the Pacific
& overcoming
the most lethal length of the Pandemic
We meet again
While Taking a
Shower
I can sing like
a Pavarotti, a Qian
Haoliang, or
simply a donkey
& no body
but myself
Can hear my
voice. While
Taking a shower,
I can
Rinse off all
the dirtiness
Inside out as if
in a water-
Fall from
heaven. While
Taking a shower,
I feel
Damn good about
myself
About God, &
even
About the whole
world
Empty Your
Lungs: for ll
Exhale hard
Exhale every bit
Of darkness
In its gaseous state
Like the malignant
cell
In your lungs
Until your feel
is burning with desires
For a fulfillment
of lighted air, then
You will feel fresh
& lighted
As if gaining a
new birth inside out
Love-Thought:
for ll
This yearning
burns my marrows into itchy bubbles
Till… my
innermost being evaporates
With the hot air
of feel
As stupor overwhelms
me
As if hemlock I
have drunk
Or meditation
that has carried me far away
While my thought
sails with the wind
Like a ferry
boat left empty
Swinging by
itself in an evening storm
Natural
Reservoir: for ll
With all the different
names
I give you, I
have built a long dam, in
Our shared mother
tongue as in my chosen
Language, from
the most literary in
Song ci to the
most vulgar from my home village
Each serving as
a spillway or sluice gate
To discharge my
love overflowing
In the deep valley
of my heart
Soulmate: for ll
A soulmate is
Another quantum
entangled with my thought, is
The outermost
being I share in a parallel universe
A soulmate is
The home &
haven of my heart, is
Half of my
innermost being in a different human shape
A soulmate is
My other self in
deed as in need, is
No other than
you in need as in deed
Wabi-Sabi: for
ll
Since our last
meet across the pacific
We have made
love in dozens of ways
Kissing each
other a thousand times
But only in language
as in virtuality
While feelings
pile up higher & higher
Around us, we
have never touched one
Single spot of
each other’s skin, shared
One single
breath of air within the same
One territory of
feel, where my poems keep
Bleeding in my
heart, where the beauty
Of love is rich,
though never full & fleshy
Or round like a
fruit, like a distant star
Dualism of Love:
for ll
Never have we
intended to pursue
This evasive
business of platonic love
But the Pacific
and the Pandemic are
Preventing us
from reaching deep
Into each
other’s bodies as into the hearts of
Our hearts;
otherwise, your tongue would have
Dug out more &
richer poems from
My blood blocked
throat, while mine
Would have sowed
real seeds onto the futility
Of your feminine
soil for a true harvest. Indeed
Having ready
access to your heart but not your
Body is only quasi
love though holy-hearted
Climate: for ll
Longing of love is
a climate of heart
A definition by
degrees
Warmth sweating
into serenity
Lines of thought
bloated into starkness
As if our whole
worlds have been woven
Into the one
& same artwork
2021, 9, 17
[Friday]
Gift Shoes from
LL
I believe the
pair of shoes you sent me as a
Birthday gift
is made of genuine leather, but
It needs a pair
of socks & even a pair of
Trousers made of
natural, not artificial wool
To go with it,
which in turn requires an
Equally
authentic leather belt to tie my
No less faithful
lower body, including my
Penis that has
become softened with age
As with my mind
& heart, but despite all
My bona fides, my
upper body is clothed
With manmade or
fake fibres, especially
My face masks,
or faces per se, not only to
Protect me against
covid-19, 22, or anything
Else like that,
but to cover my mouth
& nose in
case I should inhale false air
& spit out
some hardened spittle of truth
About life,
about the real world. Indeed
I am never sure
if that’s your original in-
Tention, but I
do like whatever is actually
Genuine, real,
true, natural or authentic
While I keep walking
along, or alone
Features; for
Hengxiang Liao
Not
coincidentally, I have met many a person
With a strong
appearance of a lower species
For instance,
one school mate of mine carries
The features of a
rabbit, another close relative
Those of a
horse, a colleague of a familiar dog
An acquaintance
of a hedgehog, a fifth of a
Snake, a sixth
of a pig, a rooster, a rat, a water
Buffalo, a
donkey, a goat or chimpanzee &
Each seems fated
to fall within or without some
Chinese zodiac
year
While my wife often
Looks like a
nasty cat, she says my face oftener
Shows all the
hideousness of a demon, as if to re-
Mind her like
every other fellow human, I was
Born in an extra
year of Satan though we were
All
created equal in His image
What Do You Chinese
Teach Your Teenager Son?
Study well! Have
great self-expectations! Grow to
Be someone! Be
the First! Be the champion! Be a
Patriot like Yue
Fei! Study to become an Official! Re-
Member books
containing all the wealth & beauty
You can gain. Be
a filial son! There are three ways
To be unfilial;
having no son of your own is the worst!
You can rise
above others only through hardships! Re-
Member a strong
man shall win a good wife. Boys
Do have tears,
but never flick them lightly! Nor do
They keel down
easily! You can be poor, but remain
aspiring! Be
kind, and ready to do good deeds. Re-
Member the
winner always as the king, but the loser
As a thief! Most
important, do whatever you can
To win honor for
your parents! To bring glory to
The
family and ancestors!
But I am a
queer, not really a son in your sense
S →
NP+VP: A Productive Rule for Grammaticality vs Meaning
I come; I see, I
conquer
Some dog has bit
a human
Some human has bit a dog
Every woman
loves a man
A man is loved by every woman
Those two large
old yellow Chinese wooden chairs collapsed
Colorless green
ideas sleep furiously
Into the Reality
You see, here’s the leaf dyed with the full
Spectrum of
autumn; here’s the dewdrop
Containing all
the dreams made on the
Darkest corner
of last night; here’s the
Light pole in
the forest where gods land
From another
higher world; here’s the swirl
You can dance
with to release all your
Emotional
intensity. Here you are in
Deed as in need embracing
The
most
Mindful moment, when
you can readily
Measure your
feel with each breath, but do
Not think about
time, which is nothing but
A pure human invention.
Just point every
Synapse of yours
to this locale. Here is now
Just Another
Interlude
Someone was
playing God to decide
If they would
accept my work or not
Another tying to
offer me a fine web-
Service, and
many more are busy
Sending me
rejections, among countless
Junk emails
while I was taking a walk
Backwards around
my neighborhood, not
Only as an
exercise for my disc problem
But to look
straight into my pasts over
Steps. Be
aware of a dog. The French
Windows of wisdom
are as clear & cool
As those of stupidity,
and the Chinese
Doors of
fengshui as high and wide
As those of
dream.
Always on high alert
Against a dog or
any doglike or dog-
Related
personality, I just keep walking &
Making a real
leashed dog puzzled, not
Knowing what my
coin of realm was, or
How to respond
to me moving backwards
Patient Screening
Survey at Vancouver Main Dental
Q1: Do you have
a fever or have felt hot or
feverish anytime
in the last two weeks?
A: yes, like the
earth getting warmer daily
Q2: Do you have
any of these symptoms:
dry cough?
Shortness of breath? Difficulty
breathing? Sore
throat? Runny nose?
Sneezing?
Post-nasal drip?
A: not really,
but dizzy about my environment
Q3: Have you
experienced a recent
loss of smell or
taste?
A: no, how can I
with so much junk foods?
Q4: Have you
been in contact with any
confirmed
COVID-19 positive patients, or
persons
self-isloating because of
a determined
risk for COVID-19?
A: yes, but the
person is not a pandemic patient
Q5: Have you
returned from travel outside
of Canada in the
last 14 days?
A: not, except
all over the virtual world
Q6: Have you
returned from travel
within Canada
from a location known
affected with
COVID-19?
A: yes; anywhere
without an evil virus?
Q7: Is you
workplace considered high risk?
A: yes, high
risk of human contamination
Patient
vulnerability
Q8: Are you over
the age of 70?
A: not sure, do
I have to remember my age?
Q9: Do you have
any of the following:
heart disease,
lung disease, kidney disease,
diabetes or any
auto-immune disorder?
A: no, but I
have lost my voice beside teeth
Snow Clams: for
LL
When I spotted
your papaya steamed
With snow clams
upon returning
From my night
shift at Choices Market
I felt like
stumbling happily into
Some heavenly fairy
tale. It was real
On weixin,
though I can neither smell
Nor taste it.
How cozy our home is
On the screen:
every day I eat, sleep
Talk with you.
Our feels are as fresh
As the fruit
flesh, as we enjoy our
Privacy of love
as if within the shell
Of the snow
clam. We kiss good night
Good morning; I
work outside to make
A few bucks
while you learn drawing
At home. What a
virtual housewife! &
Me?
I like all your artworks
Expectations for
Kate Emily
Each time I felt
lost in it, during one of our
Rare hikes
together at Pacific Spirit Forest, where
I try to enjoy
the green growths, expectations
For my Kate
would become higher in deed as
In need, inspired
by the fantasy she describes.
Who knows she
would grow to be a bit more
Than a Curie, a
Nightingale, a Mother Theresa
A Lady Gaga, a
Fu Hao, a Jinwei, or even
An Eve in her
own right, but she firmly says
She prefers to
be a basketball player. (To shoot
All her balls
into the loop of manhood while
Living eternally
as a woman cyborg?)
E. D. in Memory
of March 29
E for
eventually? D for disabled? Or
Eternally
distressed? Event delayed?
Eva denied? Epic
denouement? Evil
Dog? Exercise
disrupted? Or email
Deleted?
Oh, no, no, no! None of
These but e as
in erectile, and d as
In dysfunction.
While he has gone
Broke sexually,
his old girl feels
Fortunate in not
having to respond
To his seemingly
endless business
Attempts;
furthermore, she finds
Herself gloating
over his incompetence
To fuck another
woman even if he
Got one. With so
many variants
Of E. D., his
overdrafted or over
Bloated
personality returned to
His soft
selfhood.
No more hardness
Inside out,
above or below his belt
No more e.age,
no more damned
Do You See, My
Dear
How many trees
never flower?
How many flowers
never fruit?
How many fruits
never fall to
The taste of a
living soul after all
But to the dirty
and damp ground
Rotten among
dead, only to vanish?
Every gift of
fate shall be paid full with
Your credit card
without you knowing it
2021, 8, 17
[Tuesday]
Word Amulet: for
LL
Remember, my old
flaming girl, to write down
My pen name in
the heart of your left hand
& my love
name in your right; do this before
You are being
pushed into the operation room
To take off your
ground glass nodule from
Your cancerous lungs,
& my entire spiritual being
Will wrap up
your body, protecting you against
All risks, evils, demons & dangers every second
While you are
under general anesthesia. Should
You have a bit
of consciousness still left
Awake, just
think of my presence there, in the form of
A guardian angel
arriving from across the pacific
For LL: The
Darkest Energy in the Universe
Is no other than
fear, I well know that, but just
Cannot help
feeling afraid you would turn away
From me the next
moment, or become upset
With what I have
to say, or refuse to answer my
Call, or remove
me from your weixin list, or
Cut off all my
links to your world before I
Weave your being
into the fabric of my love, or
Show no more initiative
in contacting me, or lose
Interest in me
& my life, or become really fed up
With my
word-service, or stop missing me
As your old
flame, or fail to pass the secular tests
Of time, or withdraw
your affection under
The pressure of guilt
or gossip, or lock your
Self up suddenly
within the cage of traditional
Values &
moral concerns… yes,
I fear you
Would do all
such things, one or another, for
Some or no
reason at all; I fear you would not
Hold your love for
long; I fear you would change
Your heart
(again as about half a century ago
On the other
side of this world); indeed, I fear
My ugly wrinkled
face, shrunk statue &
Softened manhood
would disappoint you; in
Particular, I
fear you would stamp out my
Inspirations
before I burn them into poetry; above
All, I fear you
are never afraid of my fears about you
Thought in Levy
Flight
Where’s Allen
going? Pacific. Today is Wed. My old
Flame is sleeping,
waiting to have her GGN removed
From her lungs
to stamp out cancer. Poetry. Something
Good to pop up
down the road? No luck is good luck
Choices Market
where to work soon until 10:13 pm
A little dark
cloud drifting beyond the horizon. Crows
Pandemic. Delta
plus plus plus keeps chasing us all
China has closed
its doors behind the bamboo curtain
Big paranoid. I
cannot to go back to Jinzhou to see
Mom, let alone join
Qi Hong & elope with her! Bid-
Den vs Trump in
so many ways. The apolitical is way
More politics.
Wife is cooking fish again, um, smells
Good. Blue &
white & pink noises. Any dark ones?
Tinnitus makes
me mad. Whistling. Ah, ppppanda!
Three trillion
cells in my body, just as many stars
In the cosmos.
Ants, rats, silverfish. Floaters darting
So evasive like
hopes. Catch one. Paradise lost
(Non-American)
Exceptionalism
The sky &
the sun is always there, says
Joyce, except
clouds which come and go
Powerful animals
always journey alone, says
Lun Xun, except
cows and sheep that must
Perforce travel
together. Everyone tries to
Move upwards,
goes the old saying, except
Stream water
which flows towards the ever
Lower ground.
You can do anything, according
To Chinese,
except what you cannot think of
Covid-19 attacks
humans of all ages, ranks &
Colors, except
godlings that only the real rich
Can evolve into.
Just as there is an exception
To every rule,
there is a rule to every exception
But no Americans
are no exceptions to no rules
Since de Gaulle,
Politics Is Too Serious
A matter to be left to politicians; human
Rights to be
left to human rightists; Patriotism
To be left to
pedagogues; diseases to doctors
Science to
scientists; driving to drivers; war
To warlords; cooking
to cooks; poetry to poets
Sports to athletes,
or
Law to lawyers &
Legislators;
money to bankers & marketers; internet
To engineers
& programmers;
Thought to thinkers
Theories to thieves;
freedom to freeman; love to
Lovemakers;
sexuality to sex; human life to humans
Naming Game
Call me
Chinaman; call me Kung Flu
Call me Chinese
Virus; Call me the
Spy; Call me
model minority; Call me
Yellow Peril;
Call me Disease Vector;
Call me Ching Chong, Chinee, Chink
Chinky, Chonky, or whatever else you
Like or whatever else you love to invent
If only you would forever remain superior
Continuing to dominate the planet, main-
T(r)aining your order; If only all your true
Troubles would vanish before God wakes
Up in his heaven!
After
all, it must take
A name to make me as visible or invisible
As you wish me to be, while me remains
I with all these & countless other names
All Great Poets Have Died
But great poetry is still being written
Just as all the floral shops have now
Closed, but flowers keep blooming
Spring is gone, but hope is rooted
Deep in every dream; the bird has
Flown away, but the shadow of its
Flight is cast bold on the ground
Zodiac: Me & My Country
Are both born in the year
Of the elephant: we eat
Grass instead of meat; we
Walk slowly but steadily;
We have thick skin, not
So sensitive to pain or
Irritation as we plod along
Refrain
Cut from the ground by the scissors
Of time, the peonies in the front yard
Of my house (& heart) must return
To bloom against high spring, like
A refrain in a poem or chorus, with
Pedals no less fresh, no less tender
In the moment stretched over night
Spoon: a Digging Descant for Kate Emily
Like a
miniature spade, it shovels
Piles of food to fill in the black hole
Of their mouths throughout their lives
But now it has no more use for them
Even if it’s a silver one that you & me
Can use to dig our treasures deep from
Among gravels of life.
A Chinese
Legend has it that some famous Mr.
Fool used it to remove Mt Wangwu
From his pathway to the big outer
World, whereas Seamus Heaney
Digs words for his poetry as did his
Grandpa potatoes in his garden, like
My only grandchild Kate who is now
Digging, digging her sweet wishes
In a bowl of ice cream, fully colored
On the Eve of a New Month
Four score & seven hours ago, I self-
Published a Chinese fiction or maybe
Non-fiction, either way, it was a book
With 280,000 characters. My wife
Has no idea I include all the 34 long
Diary-letters I sent to my first loves. No
One except myself has bought it, which
Means there is at least one soul in this
World interested in my pictorgraphed
Memories. As the longest letter ever
Written by Chinese, in Chinese, & for
Chinese, the book was designed as
Some monument or maybe tombstone
Either way, it is a self-stamp firmly
Put on my living body, ready to be
Snail-mailed, to an unknown address
Time Difference: for LL
This is the difference between living in
The yin side of the planet, and the yang:
You are always ahead of me by half
A day. When you get up to greet morning
Glows, I am fully engulfed by twilight
Sometimes we both try to linger just a bit
Longer in our dreams, but never able to
Share them on the one & same bed. Across
The pacific, the difference in what we see
Hear, smell, taste & touch is pinpointed
At every synapse within our feel. The
Difference between day & night, between
Individualism & collectivism, the difference
Between all this & all that remains. As long
As God is still in his heaven, all is right with
Your half of the world as well as with mine
Pleasure of Solitude
I never feel lonely when alone, except
Only when I try to get along
Paperworking
Our entire adulthood is expended to fill
In the blanks left in our teenager dreams
Life Is Short in Deed
But
art is long, & you can prolong yours
In dozens of ways, demonic or democratic
For instance, by digitalizing all the images
In your poetry into a mega file before up-
Loading it into a cloud.
Actually, art can be
Even longer than the line drawn along
Your genealogy, as long as you do not
Cut your line of thought, stretching, over-
Stretching through data, though it makes our
Life more than half faked, half virtualized
Through imagination & technology.
There’s
A trick to do everything, just as there’s an
Exception to every rule. Life can be shortened
Half to make your art doubly long. Or, life
Should short itself to prolong art, shouldn’t it?
Hearing People
You went there in your old age
An empty bottle on the roadside
Heard a demon & an angel, as clearly
Heard a transliterated call from a blue whale
Made on the other side of this planet a
light-year ago
Like a dead star; heard a rambling murmur from between
The lines about poetry, buried deep amidst big
clouded data
An echo
Agonies of aesthetics, pleasures of pain
Noises as many as songs, pink, blue, white
Applauses from the Congress to declare war
Muted thunders in the hearts of popular silences
Wailing over losses of love & the beloved, together
with
All the other sounds sucked into you-r-bottle,
much like the one
Monkey King borrows to hide the entire sky. What
I say is, you can
Hear everything, even Nothing on the roadside,
absorbing them all, like
A bottle
Things Certain
While they all kept bragging about
Their great daddies, I felt sheepish
Looking down upon mine for being
Much thinner, shorter & smaller in
Statue, & even less manly in character
Let alone talent, power, fame, etc, etc
Though his kindness is much larger
Than his pockets.
All my life I’ve been
Trying desperately to differ from him in
Each conceivable way, & all for difference’s
Sake. Tougher-bodied, tougher-minded
More money, more successful as they say, &
All that.
But as I
am getting newlier old
Day by day, I find myself more & more like
Him: eating fast, farting a lot, hoarse-voiced
Jumpy, short of breath, width & warmth
Exactly the way he was, as if I were totally
Possessed by his spirit
As if certain
Things never change against human will
Here
Few really enjoy staying within the territory
Of here. It is the other side of dream,
poetry
Yonder, or the ideal. While most cannot wait
To escape, there is a great beauty with here:
It is always right in the moment of being
At this spot of meeting between time & space
Why not put your heart at the very center of
This circle of life? Where you can build a
paradise
Upon your synapses, cultivating your fields
with-
In the borderlines of your daily surroundings
Where you can even measure your feel point
By point, inch by inch, up & down, from left
To right, from front to back, clockwise or
Counter clockwise, over & over & over
again
The other way around, around & further
around
To fill in each & every blank left in your inner
Or outer spaces. Where you remain becoming
Couplets against Covid-19: for LL
Definitely disgusting it is, even just to
imagine
Kissing each other with teeth lost, tongue stiff
Lips broken, but the passion behind our wrinkled
faces &
The hearts within our collapsed chests are no
less strong
Than Romeo & Juliet’s. In deed, with the
Pacific between
Our arms, we are privileged to have fallen in
love (again
At first sight after 42 years of separation).
While still bed-
Ridden in a hospital after the operation on your
lungs
Can you feel my wechat message loaded with
My missing for you in every missed moment?
“I Win”
The second he got the news about him wining
The prize, he hardly thinks of anything other
than
I win. He
murmurs at the wall, I win he shouts
Towards the people in the street; & without
Hearing the echo, he picks up the phone &
Tells the receptionist that he’s finally won;
Mean-
While, he posts the news in his ticktok, weixin
Moments, facebook, linkedin, integram, defunct
Blogsite, totally carried away by the hundreds
Thousands, even millions of hits & pageveiws
He would receive, until the whole universe becomes
Occupied by his thought, every soul penetrated
by
The message about his win, as if he were the
only
One chose by God this time, except that like Fan
Jin
Who passed the provincial examination after
dozens
Of attempts, he loses his mind together with his
voice
In thinking too often & too aloud: I win,
I win, I win
